The other day, my youngest son, Wesley, and I were having a conversation, and he began explaining to me his feelings about the two words “sympathy” and “empathy.”  In the thesaurus, “empathy” is listed as a synonym to “sympathy.”  However, closer study of the two words shows that they are dramatically different. “Sympathy” denotes feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune, while “empathy” denotes the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, many times but not always having shared the same or a similar experience.

How much more powerful is our “We” and “Us” collective group if we develop the ability to empathize as opposed to simply sympathize with the experiences of others. 

Empathy is an ability to put yourself in the same shoes as someone else.  As you strive to put yourself in their shoes, refrain from thinking about yourself and your own experiences and practice altruism. Focus your attention outward, toward them and their feelings. Empathy is much stronger and more personal with specificity of comprehension of how they feel. To empathize, we need to be able to listen and do so with a focus and purpose of understanding and resist the tendency to respond with stories about ourselves. If we can listen without feeling the need to solve the problem with suggestions or corrective actions, the other person will tend to perceive our interest in them as genuine. This helps us transition from a person that is intrigued to one who is truly perceptive to other’s needs with the focus on communicating true understanding. Empathy comes about with a two-way, back-and-forth communication style with heavy emphasis on asking questions and reiterating back to them what we are hearing. As that communication expands and unfolds to the point of understanding and real perception, only then can we begin to formulate and offer ways to help.

With empathy, the support and care for one another is exponentially greater and manifestly more productive and result oriented.  Think what we can accomplish if we can genuinely empathize with the challenges and trials of others. Focus on understanding one another as opposed to simply observing outward appearances and contributing nothing to the advancement and solace of one another because of lack of interest in caring or truly empathizing.

The manner we communicate with one another is vital. How we use the following emotional attributes are key to our success with communication.

Do we first:

1.      have desire to care,

2.      listen,

3.      receive well the words of encouragement and acts of care from others,

4.      strive to be humble and grateful and not critical of efforts of others,

5.      focus on being observant of other’s needs,

6.      pay close attention to the details,

7.      learn to trust others – there are various levels of trust; we want 100% trust,

8.      empathize instead of just sympathize,

9.      ask questions,

10.  restrain from making blanket judgements or statements about others as we learn.

How grateful I am to those who have shown me Empathy. It has motivated me to be empathetic in return and work on my ability to genuinely approach others in this way.